The 80's part I

I have been told that I have an unhealthy fascination with the 80's. I don't know where it came from really. Actually I'll save that for another post. But I have this respect for a different time, and cultural mindset. More on this later...

Oh Good Times

I was just looking back through all my old pictures of me on facebook. I think it may have something to do with my Mom joining. But anyway I was going through and realized just how awesome and lucky I am to have such awesome memories and friends. Seriously almost everyone in those pictures rules. I guess it's me kinda starting a new chapter and looking back all nostalgic but seriously wow. I'm impressed. And those are just pics of early college. There's way more memories of highschool that I hold just as dear. I guess my point is, besides the fact that I have had and have the best group of friends, I also look back and go "Wow that was me?" "What the hell kind of shit did I think I was pulling?"

Gets me wondering. About alot of stuff. If I asked that kid working at Space Center Houston what he would be doing at 22. He'd come up with some crazy answer about rock and roll or movies but he wouldn't really KNOW. He was too busy living in the here and now.I think it's worked in the long run to my benefit. Nothing ever really seemed out of reach. I sit here now in LA doing something I set my mind to years ago. But me back then would have no idea how to even go about getting the life I have now. And the answer is that that's fine. No one has a guide or a plan for you that'll work. I've learned that you make YOUR OWN WAY and reach YOUR OWN GOALS. The people and friends hopefully will stay with you forever.

Of course nowadays I sit kind of worried that I've become jaded or cynical but I don't think so. I do think that I have more people directly or indirectly telling me what I can and can not achieve. At least in a certain sense. But then I just look back on those pictures of a young kid who had no idea what he was doing but did it anyway and I feel comforted. It worked for me. Also as was true then and is true now: A healthy dose of Hatebreed and Andrew W.K. doesn't hurt either.

I LOVE MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY. I LOVE THE MEMORIES I SHARE WITH THEM.

one of those days

Today has to have been one of the longest days of my life. All those frames we weave have to collapse into one at some point, right? Those things we fear; that are hard that we put off, they come blazing into your life all at once. Today was that black hole that sucked em all in. Not one or two things but five or six things all hit the fan.

Boy it sucks. But I know I chose the hard way to do things. So I'll deal with them. My decisions, my mistakes. In the end I feel like maybe I need the hard way to do things. The challenge. Something I haven't actually had in awhile. It's gonna be tough.

While I'm emotionally exhausted like I haven't been in years, I also feel a reinvigorated drive to create my own future; to get my act together and build something amazing out of myself.

And that is priceless in my opinion.